Putting My Life in His Hands...

So...long time no see! Needless to say, I have not been on top of my game as far as posting this last week.

I don't know what it was. I just lost all kinds of motivation. I missed the last week of my 30 Day Photo Challenge, I haven't wanted to post anything, and I sort of jumped the wagon as far as weight loss goes, resulting in my gain of 2+lbs this week. I am recommitting myself to it all though! 

I realized today while at church that I have been learning a great lesson over the last little bit of my life. In Relief Society, we were talking about tithing, and a sister subject of that, of course, is Faith. Our Relief Society President asked us to define faith without using the scriptural definition. (Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb. 11:1) Many women said faith is putting your trust in the Lord. I wrote in my notebook, "Faith: Putting my life in God's hands and trust that He will direct it in a way that it is meant to be and what is best for me." As I sat there, I've realized that I've been blessed the last month or so to greatly increase my faith in Heavenly Father and His plan for me. 

I was visiting with a sister from my old ward. She wanted to see me to let me know how proud she was of the choices I had made concerning my last relationship. She mentioned to me that by receiving and acting upon revelation given to me from my Heavenly Father, I showed him that He could trust me to do those things he asks of me. Another sister in my ward told me that she knew that there were great blessings in my future for listening to the Spirit. I know this is true for anyone. Though it can be a scary, and sometimes painful, thing to do, when we get direction from our Lord we need to let go of what we want and give ourselves wholly to the will of Our Father. 

I found a link on Facebook (of all places! Click here to follow the page it was on. A note, the picture is theirs as well) that I really loved! This picture had a caption that read, "And finally, when you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better." This really touched my heart. I definitely feel like I've had some opportunities that I would not have had if I had stayed the course and gotten married. And I would not have ended up as happy in the end as I will by listening to the father. Another quote mentioned in RS today was, "When we turn our will over to Him, He will make more of us than we could make of ourselves."

I cannot wait for the blessings Heavenly Father has in store for me. I also testify that if you try like I am to listen to the whisperings of the Spirit and do what it prompts you to do, you can find a joy and peace in your life beyond anything people can give you.

--Lexi Lou

P.S. By the way, guess who is getting their patriarchal blessing next week?! WOOT WOOT!! The blessings just keep pouring out... 

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 7,8,9

Whoops... surprising how fast two days can slip right by you. I don't know why I didn't get to it Thursday. Yesterday, though, was my little sister's birthday. She is such a cutie! She just turned five. I spent all day yesterday running errands and cleaning the house for her little family party. By the end of the day when I could have time to blog I was so tired!

Anyways, so I'll just put three days in one. I'm sure those of you who aren't a huge fan of this picture challenge won't mind. 

Day 7: A picture of your most treasured item...

Ok, so I don't really treasure items. This one was kind of hard to think of at first. If we're talking about the item I miss the most though, its my iPod!! Its been lost for almost a week now, and I feel so deprived without it. This week has made me realize how addicted to it I really was. I still catch myself reaching for it every once in a while, and it really sucks once I remember its gone. I have a pretty good idea where its disappeared to...my mess of a bedroom. So I probably won't find it until I've cleaned my room. It was my plan to clean it this last week, but my sister and I just haven't been motivated. Maybe this is what I need to actually get it done. 

Day 8: A picture that makes you laugh...

Ok, first I have to explain some things. For those of you who don't waste your entire life on the internet or have friends/family/kids who do, you probably don't know what a meme is. Basically its pictures (or sometimes animated pictures) that are either: 1. quirky/funny, 2. pathetic things that fill you with vicarious despair, or 3. really gross pictures that result in shock laughter. (Click here for Urban Dictionary's definition of it, but be aware that the language is not very clean.) There are certain faces or pictures that have come to mean something specific. The picture I'm going to be sharing has a face named "Forever Alone Guy". This guy is crying because he thinks he will never find anyone to love or even be friends with. He hacks himself on Facebook, falls in love with everyone that gives him even a little attention, and despises people who have what he never will. Ergo...this picture...

OH MY GOSH! This picture makes me laugh so so much! I think this is so hilarious! Apart from Forever Alone Guy, I think this is the best prank ever! I'm fine with a little PDA, but if you are openly making out in public you deserve to have this happen to you. I think if I saw this in real life I would fall to the ground laughing. 

 Day 9: A picture of someone who has gotten you through the most...

Now to a serious note. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I love my family and friends, and they have always been there for me. However, they can't feel what I have felt. Christ has, and I know I can turn to him when no one else understands. Christ is always there, waiting with open arms for me to fall into. Whether I need help, or comfort, or just the knowledge that someone is always watching out for me, He is there. These last few weeks (almost a month now) have been really hard for me in some ways. But I'm surviving it. I'm actually really okay. People keep asking me if I am, or walking around me on eggshells because they think I'm not, but I am. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are on my side, and they are proud of me for the decisions I have made. And that's all that really matters. (Of course, support from others doesn't hurt, and I am grateful to those individuals who have been there for me. THANK YOU!)

I know that Jesus Christ loves me and every other person on this earth. He sacrificed His life for us... Not collectively, but separately for every single person who has ever lived. If you were the only one coming to Earth, He still would have done what he did. He loves us that much! And I know that if you reach out to Him, you will feel His love.

"For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still."

2 Nephi 20:4

--Lexi Lou

Wow, Back to Blogging?

Today it seems like everyone has a blog. I had one years ago...but looking back at it, I have banished to the black abyss of deleted Internet files. It was mostly about boys I liked and my "interesting" life as a fifteen year old. Nope! I don't want to relive any of that, and I'm sure the people of the Internet wouldn't either. 

A little about myself. I am nineteen years old, and just off on summer vacation from my freshman year of school. I know, the title says I am a college student. I thought I should probably start my blog during the summer and make a habit of it before I start school. I went away for college my last two semesters, but I've opted to stay closer to home this time. Part of that is due to the homesickness I felt at school. The rest of it, I'll explain in a bit. I am an Education major. I can't wait to be an elementary school teacher! I had planned to be a high school teacher and major in either Theater or English, but through an internship for my education class last semester I have found my real passion is with younger students. This summer the thing I've missed most about school (besides all those friends I made and then had to leave, of course) are those cute kids! 

I am a writer! I have tried writing so many times in the past, but I think I've found a story I can stick to. Right before school ended I went to a writing conference that really inspired me. I feel like this is my time! Also, by writing this blog, I'll be in the mood to write more often. And any writing is better than none if I get stuck in my novel. My biggest dream is that I can write a book that will become a classic and make my name known long after I am gone. I want to reach out and touch lives, even if its only to entertain them.

I am a faithful member of my faith. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ! I know God listens to and answers my prayers. I have a strong testimony of the Book of Mormon, and God's other scriptures. I know we have a prophet on earth today, and he receives revelations from God for His children on Earth. I love the church and the strength it gives me. I am so grateful for Christ's atonement. Through him I can repent and return to live with my eternal family someday. I cannot wait for the day that I can be sealed for time and all eternity to the love of my life.  

I am a hopeless romantic! I always have been. I remember having my first "boyfriend" in kindergarten. I made him push me and all my friends on the swings under threat of breaking up with him, and I chased him down and kissed him. Sadly, up until some minor romance in high school and a little in college, that had been the most play I'd gotten in my life. Then I met the man of my dreams...or so I thought. 

I had known this man before he left for an LDS mission, but we hadn't been very close friends. Then one weekend when I was visiting my family last November he asked me out on a date. The date was the best I'd ever been on! A week later he visited me at school (driving 100+ miles to see me) and we became "official". One week later we said we loved each other. Four weeks after that we were engaged. And six months after we started officially dating, I broke up with him. 

This was quite recently, actually, and I'm still struggling to get over it. I really loved him, and I wanted nothing more than to be his wife. But something happened that opened my eyes. He was unable to take me to the temple, and tried to push me to marry him civilly. I loved him, and wanted to marry him, but that was not what I wanted. This opened my eyes to some other problems in our relationship, and through a lot of prayer and a few priesthood blessings (so grateful that I live in a home where I have a dad who is willing to give me a blessing whenever I need one!) I came to the realization that we shouldn't be getting married. I wanted to wait for him to realize this, but one day he kind of steered the conversation in that direction, and I ended up breaking up with him. I still feel like I love him, but the confirmation from the Spirit was a message from God. I know that I'm doing the right thing, and that it will be better for the both of us in the long run.

Okay, so I guess my first life lesson is... WAIT! A lot of people get caught up in love, though I don't think anyone would do what I did unless they knew it was absolutely 100% right for them. What I learned from this was that when I find the man I am meant to marry, I am going to date him for a long while, and then make sure our engagement is a short one. I want to make absolutely sure that he is the right one, and not get surprised when the going gets tough. 

Thanks for reading I guess? I hope I haven't already bored you. Now, my posts probably won't run as long as this one every time I post, and they probably won't be as heavily toned. I'll be trying to post at least weekly. 

--Lexi Lou