Bucket List...Fail? Or Win?

Ok peoples... I think its safe to say that the blogging frenzy I was in a while ago has faded quite a bit. So I'll catch you up on what's been going on and promise to try to be better.

Weight loss...UGH! I fell of the wagon. Luckily my last lazy weeks haven't hurt me too bad. I realized I have developed some healthy habits. Hallelujah! I actually managed to lose a little without being too restrictive. But I am going back to WW tomorrow. (Fingers crossed for a new Weight Loss Wednesday post next week!)

A quick catch up on the other things on my Summer Bucket List. First the most disappointing... getting a job, buying a car, cleaning my room, and finishing my novel. Still looking for a job, even though the summer is half over now. And, of course, since I have zero funds for one, obviously I haven't gotten a car. The other two are more pathetic though. With all this free time on my hands, I should have time to write and clean, right? You'd think so. However, I have found so many other things to distract myself with. Like...hours sitting in front of the TV...or eating...or rehashing every situation with whomever will sit still long enough for me to talk to. I know, exciting right?! Time to be better about it. 

Hanging out a ton. This one is a bit harder, but I have been actively getting out of the house. I've gone to Family Home Evening with my single's ward a few times with some friends. I met some new people and hung out with them for a while (until the guy in the group my friend likes stopped talking to her. I'm guessing we won't be seeing much of them anymore.) I've got three Institute (Seminary for people in college) classes during the week, and I go almost every time...? And I've gone to night games and other various fun activities with a few friends. I really want to do even more though. I think its time for me to reconnect with those people I hung out with in high school, yeah? I'm trying to think up something to do, and then get everyone together. 

Now the exciting one... Getting back into the dating world...

(Annoying high pitch girlish squeal!!) 

That good enough? No? You want details? All righty... I'll start with the less juicy and work my way up.

As you know (or maybe not, I forget if I posted about it), I joined an LDS dating site a while ago. I was immediately bombarded. I guess fresh meat is an attractive quality? Anyway, I met a ton of really creepy old men and a few nice guys. I even went on a date with one of them. Not too exciting though. There was no chemistry on the date and a few days after he stopped texting me. Ah well, live and let live. (Too bad, he was super rich! JUST KIDDING! I'm not that shallow! But it was a nice plus...) I'm messaging a guy now that seems really nice. But how can you really tell that with online conversations? But I guess there's some potential there.

Now to the reason for the girlish squeal. I've had a bad case of permagrin (a disease, more commonly known as a cootie, that makes you think of a certain someone all the time causing you to smile constantly) since last Friday. **BACKSTORY** There's this guy in my single's ward that kinda liked one of my friends. He kept asking her out, but she kept making excuses because she wasn't interested. So she decided, against my better judgement, to give him my number and suggested (since I have so much free time) that he should take me on a date. He called a few awkward days of waiting later and asked me out. That Friday we went mini-golfing and got ice cream. Simple. I loved it!! We had so much fun! And when we got ice cream, we sat and talked for a few hours (until the shop closed and sometime after that as well). He then offered to give me a ride to FHE that next week. That was tons of fun too (jello fight, followed by a water balloon fight and ultimate frisbee)! Then I invited him to institute last night, and afterwards we played night games with some of my friend's friends. 

And we have another date planned for tomorrow! Plan A: Go to a hike with our FHE group to Doughnut Falls. Obviously super fun and a great way to talk and get to know each other even better. Another plan is set though. This one is necessary because he's heard the hike might be cancelled due to weather. So, if Plan A fails, then Plan B: Play in the rain together. HOW CUTE IS THAT?! Needless to say, I'm secretly hoping it rains tomorrow. 

He is so sweet and so much fun to be around! Not to mention easy to talk to. We have so much in common. He's already told me that he loves my smile and spending time with me. (Yet another girlish squeal of joy!) This totally caught me off guard, but that's fine with me. And who knows? Maybe we'll lose interest in a few weeks. Or maybe not... I'm just planning on having tons of fun and going with the flow, keeping my heart close to the Lord and letting Him guide me through my life. Still super exciting though!

--Lexi Lou

P.S. I got my patriarchal blessing last Sunday. It was amazing! SO AWESOME!!!

Putting My Life in His Hands...

So...long time no see! Needless to say, I have not been on top of my game as far as posting this last week.

I don't know what it was. I just lost all kinds of motivation. I missed the last week of my 30 Day Photo Challenge, I haven't wanted to post anything, and I sort of jumped the wagon as far as weight loss goes, resulting in my gain of 2+lbs this week. I am recommitting myself to it all though! 

I realized today while at church that I have been learning a great lesson over the last little bit of my life. In Relief Society, we were talking about tithing, and a sister subject of that, of course, is Faith. Our Relief Society President asked us to define faith without using the scriptural definition. (Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb. 11:1) Many women said faith is putting your trust in the Lord. I wrote in my notebook, "Faith: Putting my life in God's hands and trust that He will direct it in a way that it is meant to be and what is best for me." As I sat there, I've realized that I've been blessed the last month or so to greatly increase my faith in Heavenly Father and His plan for me. 

I was visiting with a sister from my old ward. She wanted to see me to let me know how proud she was of the choices I had made concerning my last relationship. She mentioned to me that by receiving and acting upon revelation given to me from my Heavenly Father, I showed him that He could trust me to do those things he asks of me. Another sister in my ward told me that she knew that there were great blessings in my future for listening to the Spirit. I know this is true for anyone. Though it can be a scary, and sometimes painful, thing to do, when we get direction from our Lord we need to let go of what we want and give ourselves wholly to the will of Our Father. 

I found a link on Facebook (of all places! Click here to follow the page it was on. A note, the picture is theirs as well) that I really loved! This picture had a caption that read, "And finally, when you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better." This really touched my heart. I definitely feel like I've had some opportunities that I would not have had if I had stayed the course and gotten married. And I would not have ended up as happy in the end as I will by listening to the father. Another quote mentioned in RS today was, "When we turn our will over to Him, He will make more of us than we could make of ourselves."

I cannot wait for the blessings Heavenly Father has in store for me. I also testify that if you try like I am to listen to the whisperings of the Spirit and do what it prompts you to do, you can find a joy and peace in your life beyond anything people can give you.

--Lexi Lou

P.S. By the way, guess who is getting their patriarchal blessing next week?! WOOT WOOT!! The blessings just keep pouring out... 

Feeling Write-y

I know, I haven't written my Photo Challenge post for today... but honestly, are any of you really upset by that? I'll be sure to post it tomorrow, along with tomorrow's picture as well.

I just wanted to let you guys know how everything is going. 

So its been a month since the big break up. And I know, I should still be healing and dealing. But in all honesty, I'm not. That is just a bigger indication to me that I did the right thing. 

And I feel somewhat liberated. Lately, my motto has been, "REINVENTION!" (I haven't said it out loud, but I say it in my head a lot...) I'm really trying to look at myself and decide what I want to change. 

I know that most of what I want to do has to do with my bucket list (See that post here). But I'm even more determined to do it! There are some things on it that I haven't really gotten to, and that bums me out. But I've been really focused on my weight loss (but you all knew that) and the social aspect of my goals.

In fact, I loved the lesson I had at institute tonight! It was called "Becoming Socially Perfect." My first thought was, "Perfect?! I can't be perfect!" But being socially perfect has more to do with becoming Christ-like and reaching out to those who maybe need a friend. Also, by receiving Christ's image in your countenance, you attract other Christ-like and amazing people into your life. 

Something my mom has told me for years was reiterated to me in a scripture tonight. "For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things." (D&C 88:40) Simply put, you will attract people who are like you. So if you are sitting there wondering why you can't find that perfect person, wondering why you are surrounded by jerks (I'm writing this from a women's perspective guys) and there's "no more nice guys in the world"...STOP IT (said in the words of one of my favorite apostles). Its time to listen to Michael Jackson (wow, mentioning Uchtdorf and MJ in the same paragraph? This is a weird post!) and start with that person you look at every morning when you're brushing your teeth!

Sorry, I'll stop being preachy. But that is my personal goal. Like I posted on FB the other day, I am going to change something about the world, and I'm starting with myself!

--Lexi Lou

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 17

Day 17 : A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently...

This is a special post, seeing as its Father's Day. During my break up, I got two father's blessings. The first one was mostly one of comfort. I was told to be patient. During my second one was when I realized what I needed to do. 

I am so grateful for my dad! I am so thankful that he lives in such a way that he is worthy of his priesthood and can give me a blessing whenever I need one. I love him so much! 

Happy Father's Day everyone!! But what are you doing on the internet? Go spend time with those special guys that raised you!

--Lexi Lou

Ask Me Your Questions!!

Hey there! This will be a short post, I promise. Then you can get back to all the other...interesting(?) posts on my blog...
I want to get to know my audience (the whole five of you!), and I want you guys to get to know me. So here's the scoop. Post comments, questions, queries, whatever to any and every post. I will go through them and select a question to answer. I'll be answering questions starting biweekly on Mondays, maybe progressing to weekly depending on your response!
Now please, there are no dumb questions!! Ask anything you'd like to know! I can't wait to hear from you!

--Lexi Lou

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 7,8,9

Whoops... surprising how fast two days can slip right by you. I don't know why I didn't get to it Thursday. Yesterday, though, was my little sister's birthday. She is such a cutie! She just turned five. I spent all day yesterday running errands and cleaning the house for her little family party. By the end of the day when I could have time to blog I was so tired!

Anyways, so I'll just put three days in one. I'm sure those of you who aren't a huge fan of this picture challenge won't mind. 

Day 7: A picture of your most treasured item...

Ok, so I don't really treasure items. This one was kind of hard to think of at first. If we're talking about the item I miss the most though, its my iPod!! Its been lost for almost a week now, and I feel so deprived without it. This week has made me realize how addicted to it I really was. I still catch myself reaching for it every once in a while, and it really sucks once I remember its gone. I have a pretty good idea where its disappeared to...my mess of a bedroom. So I probably won't find it until I've cleaned my room. It was my plan to clean it this last week, but my sister and I just haven't been motivated. Maybe this is what I need to actually get it done. 

Day 8: A picture that makes you laugh...

Ok, first I have to explain some things. For those of you who don't waste your entire life on the internet or have friends/family/kids who do, you probably don't know what a meme is. Basically its pictures (or sometimes animated pictures) that are either: 1. quirky/funny, 2. pathetic things that fill you with vicarious despair, or 3. really gross pictures that result in shock laughter. (Click here for Urban Dictionary's definition of it, but be aware that the language is not very clean.) There are certain faces or pictures that have come to mean something specific. The picture I'm going to be sharing has a face named "Forever Alone Guy". This guy is crying because he thinks he will never find anyone to love or even be friends with. He hacks himself on Facebook, falls in love with everyone that gives him even a little attention, and despises people who have what he never will. Ergo...this picture...

OH MY GOSH! This picture makes me laugh so so much! I think this is so hilarious! Apart from Forever Alone Guy, I think this is the best prank ever! I'm fine with a little PDA, but if you are openly making out in public you deserve to have this happen to you. I think if I saw this in real life I would fall to the ground laughing. 

 Day 9: A picture of someone who has gotten you through the most...

Now to a serious note. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I love my family and friends, and they have always been there for me. However, they can't feel what I have felt. Christ has, and I know I can turn to him when no one else understands. Christ is always there, waiting with open arms for me to fall into. Whether I need help, or comfort, or just the knowledge that someone is always watching out for me, He is there. These last few weeks (almost a month now) have been really hard for me in some ways. But I'm surviving it. I'm actually really okay. People keep asking me if I am, or walking around me on eggshells because they think I'm not, but I am. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are on my side, and they are proud of me for the decisions I have made. And that's all that really matters. (Of course, support from others doesn't hurt, and I am grateful to those individuals who have been there for me. THANK YOU!)

I know that Jesus Christ loves me and every other person on this earth. He sacrificed His life for us... Not collectively, but separately for every single person who has ever lived. If you were the only one coming to Earth, He still would have done what he did. He loves us that much! And I know that if you reach out to Him, you will feel His love.

"For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still."

2 Nephi 20:4

--Lexi Lou

Wow, Back to Blogging?

Today it seems like everyone has a blog. I had one years ago...but looking back at it, I have banished to the black abyss of deleted Internet files. It was mostly about boys I liked and my "interesting" life as a fifteen year old. Nope! I don't want to relive any of that, and I'm sure the people of the Internet wouldn't either. 

A little about myself. I am nineteen years old, and just off on summer vacation from my freshman year of school. I know, the title says I am a college student. I thought I should probably start my blog during the summer and make a habit of it before I start school. I went away for college my last two semesters, but I've opted to stay closer to home this time. Part of that is due to the homesickness I felt at school. The rest of it, I'll explain in a bit. I am an Education major. I can't wait to be an elementary school teacher! I had planned to be a high school teacher and major in either Theater or English, but through an internship for my education class last semester I have found my real passion is with younger students. This summer the thing I've missed most about school (besides all those friends I made and then had to leave, of course) are those cute kids! 

I am a writer! I have tried writing so many times in the past, but I think I've found a story I can stick to. Right before school ended I went to a writing conference that really inspired me. I feel like this is my time! Also, by writing this blog, I'll be in the mood to write more often. And any writing is better than none if I get stuck in my novel. My biggest dream is that I can write a book that will become a classic and make my name known long after I am gone. I want to reach out and touch lives, even if its only to entertain them.

I am a faithful member of my faith. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ! I know God listens to and answers my prayers. I have a strong testimony of the Book of Mormon, and God's other scriptures. I know we have a prophet on earth today, and he receives revelations from God for His children on Earth. I love the church and the strength it gives me. I am so grateful for Christ's atonement. Through him I can repent and return to live with my eternal family someday. I cannot wait for the day that I can be sealed for time and all eternity to the love of my life.  

I am a hopeless romantic! I always have been. I remember having my first "boyfriend" in kindergarten. I made him push me and all my friends on the swings under threat of breaking up with him, and I chased him down and kissed him. Sadly, up until some minor romance in high school and a little in college, that had been the most play I'd gotten in my life. Then I met the man of my dreams...or so I thought. 

I had known this man before he left for an LDS mission, but we hadn't been very close friends. Then one weekend when I was visiting my family last November he asked me out on a date. The date was the best I'd ever been on! A week later he visited me at school (driving 100+ miles to see me) and we became "official". One week later we said we loved each other. Four weeks after that we were engaged. And six months after we started officially dating, I broke up with him. 

This was quite recently, actually, and I'm still struggling to get over it. I really loved him, and I wanted nothing more than to be his wife. But something happened that opened my eyes. He was unable to take me to the temple, and tried to push me to marry him civilly. I loved him, and wanted to marry him, but that was not what I wanted. This opened my eyes to some other problems in our relationship, and through a lot of prayer and a few priesthood blessings (so grateful that I live in a home where I have a dad who is willing to give me a blessing whenever I need one!) I came to the realization that we shouldn't be getting married. I wanted to wait for him to realize this, but one day he kind of steered the conversation in that direction, and I ended up breaking up with him. I still feel like I love him, but the confirmation from the Spirit was a message from God. I know that I'm doing the right thing, and that it will be better for the both of us in the long run.

Okay, so I guess my first life lesson is... WAIT! A lot of people get caught up in love, though I don't think anyone would do what I did unless they knew it was absolutely 100% right for them. What I learned from this was that when I find the man I am meant to marry, I am going to date him for a long while, and then make sure our engagement is a short one. I want to make absolutely sure that he is the right one, and not get surprised when the going gets tough. 

Thanks for reading I guess? I hope I haven't already bored you. Now, my posts probably won't run as long as this one every time I post, and they probably won't be as heavily toned. I'll be trying to post at least weekly. 

--Lexi Lou